How to ask someone out

So you've finally plucked up the courage. That someone you've liked for longer than you can remember is about to get asked 'out' by you. Here's how to do it.

Be confident

You're a good person, right? Pretty cool, pretty good looking. A regular catch. You don't think so? Well, you'd better believe it. Have confidence, not arrogance, and you won't need to strike a pose or bluster and brag. Make a list of ten good things about you, if you're not sure what your selling points are. You have nothing to lose, even if they say no.

Choose the time

If they're obviously run off their feet or in the middle of a shouting match with friends - or with friends - then you aren't exactly upping your chances by asking then. Wait for the time when you just happen to be alone - it's unlikely that's happened by accident - and have some good, casual conversation about 'this and that' first.

Be casual

Of course you're nervous. Take a deep breath and prepare to come across as if it's just a normal asking-a-friend-what-they're-up-to-on-Saturday kind of thing.

Look presentable

As a general rule, and in the run up to asking someone out, you might find you start paying a lot more attention to how you dress, how you smell, how your hair is. This is a good thing and will probably be having a (good) effect.

Smile

That's not an insane grin; that's a smile. It'll make it seem less of a big deal. It is something fun you're proposing, right?

Think about what you're going to say

It's best to have some idea so you don't end up mumbling inaudibly - or discovering you've just gone completely random. Have a possible plan prepared - where to go, what to do - and suggest it.

Look them in the eye!

They're the windows to your soul. Looking a person in the eyes creates a 'special moment'. After all, it isn't that often people actually do it.

Don't fidget

Well, you might shift back and forth on your feet a little bit. After all, it's quite flattering to show the other person that this is important to you. It's also cute to show you have vulnerabilities.

Take no for an answer

If the answer is no, don't push it. Maybe there's someone else in their life at the moment. Maybe it's just not going to happen. If you've suggested a time or day and they say they're busy, leave them to come back to you with other possible dates. If they like you, and have time to think about, they may well do.

Do what's natural

Feel free to ignore the rules and do what's natural. Yes, dating is a game. It's also real life. Different people find their own ways of coming together.