Is is safe to ejaculate into each other?

Hi there. Me and my boyfriend meet on this site and now we are ready for the nex step which is sex. We want to go all the way but don't know if it is safe for us to ejaculate into each other through anal and oral. Is this safe? I would really apprciate it if you could help. Thanks for reading this. Yours hopefully, S and C xx

The Young Lovers' Guide replies:

It's thought that the risk of HIV transmission through oral sex is very low - although you'll want to watch out for bleeding gums, usually caused by brushing teeth too hard, as this increases the risk of catching something.

Anal sex carries a high risk of HIV transmission - and there are other infections doing the rounds. It is through the ejaculate (also blood) that HIV is passed from one person to another.

Now it's probably the case that neither you nor Callum have HIV or any other serious infection. Have you ever had unprotected sex - that's sex without a condom - before? Has Callum? If not, then it's really, really, really unlikely you'll have picked something up any other way.

If you're in any doubt, take yourselves along to a GUM clinic - short for genito-urinary medicine clinic, but don't worry if you can't remember that. You'll probably find one at your nearest hospital and can always give the hospital a ring to find out where to go. You can get a full check-up there without needing to give your full - or even real - name. They'll also be able to offer vaccinations against Hepatitis, which is a pretty grim infection quite easily passed from person to person.

If you're both clear of any infections, then you're not going to catch anything off each other, provided neither of you sleeps with anyone else, in which case that other person might have something.

That's to say, if you are absolutely sure that you or Callum aren't going to cheat on each other, you might consider not using condoms.

That said, using condoms is a good habit to get into. That should be your basic starting position on sex - with not using them a real, big decision. Why not start off using them, give it a bit more time for the relationship to develop, and then maybe decide that you can trust each other enough not to be using them? (Some would say, you can never trust anyone that much - and it's up to you whether you believe that or not.)

Don't worry about this - but do be aware of how things are passed from one person to another and, generally, what's what.

Hope that helps.